Why I get up

     I am blessed to have two men I bore.  Raising them has been such a lesson, that has made me view males with a kind eye.  The oldest is Andrew Julian, 21 years. He and I, grew up together. And boy did we have fun. He was more like something that was cool to have, at that time of my life.  Not always proud of all our experiences. But never the less, it was us moving thorough this vapor called life, like a bad Hip Hop video.  For a long time it was he and I. Often over Grammies and Poppy's house, so I could run the streets. But I was so in love with him. He was my Polo Kid that could charm and talk to anybody. No matter the age, type, or other. He just fit in right with how I lived, then.  Things 'changed' when Ali came. My parents where not going down that same road with me.  Ten years of them part time taking care of Drew. Oh no that's when my life became real. And the lessons where a jagged pill I had to swallow. By that time my little sister had a girl, and I had moved back in with them. Yuck. Spoiled.  I had to grow up with no real example on how to do it.

       I named my second child Ali Nile Justice. Serious right!  He and I have a a different story to tell. I was looking at life as if I was one with it. Not looking at my life,  just get over. But really wanting to know the meaning of it all. Loving the fight and understanding that it's not a fight. But just a day to day exchange with me and the universe. Whatever comes out of it, weather it went my way or not, it was for my growth to become a better human. That's why I get up. To look at this life as if it's an apple to bite. And when It's not ripe  I pick up another one and bite that one. Sometimes it's hard to pick up another one. But I always do. I think that's why there so many apple trees.  I don't look at mistakes as I failed. I only know that, that's my way to make a new inroad in my life.  A life in which I love truly. 

       So I have my(a) story to tell. Alot of people see you and only see what they see. Not Understanding what you walked in to make you shy, loud, colorful, stone face, or whatever. So don't judge me just read  great story's of pain, love,  and a whole lot of crazy stuff. So enjoy me.